Saturday, October 13, 2012

My Dad died last week.  It sounds so strange... even surreal...  My Dad died...  I have many moments when I get a feeling of unreality.  Dying is not something that my Dad does, so it doesn't make sense to me that he's done it now.  Not that it was something he did.  A disease called idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis killed him.  It's a lung disease that is still a mystery to the doctors and researchers, though it kills as many people in the U.S. each year as breast cancer.  Usually a person declines over the course of several years, but sometimes it progresses quickly, like with Dad, though even his doctor was shocked.  He'd had a bad cough last winter and into the spring.  In June he was diagnosed and put on oxygen right away.  He was able to go dancing, just a little bit, a week before he died.  Wednesday he went into the hospital.  Thursday his doctor felt he was doing better.  But Friday his breathing got worse until it just stopped late that night.  I'm really glad I was able to be with him and I hope that my actions and words gave him some comfort.
 Life will never "get back to normal,"  because he isn't here.  So I guess my family and I just have to get used to living with a sense of wrongness.  Often when I think of him being gone I get this feeling like, "that can't be right."
He was very good at giving advice and helping solve a problem... I won't be able to get his help again.  I will never be able to sit with him, watch TV, and help with his crossword puzzle.  He wanted me to make plum jam this year...  And what will Thanksgiving be like without his quiet presence?

We've planned a service to honor him this Saturday, the 13th at 2 p.m. at Forest Lawn Funeral Home in west Seattle
For more information of this awful disease   http://www.pulmonaryfibrosis.org/